Children are likely your first priority when deciding to get divorced. You want to put your children’s best interests first, and you are hopeful that you can make this all go as smoothly for them as possible. Many parents take this position.
Fortunately, you can start working toward this goal from the very beginning, when you have the initial discussions about the divorce. Here are a few tips that can help.
Gather the family together
You don’t want your children to find out that you’re getting divorced from someone else. As a result, you shouldn’t tell the children one at a time, nor should you and your spouse split up these duties. Instead, have a family conversation where both of you talk to all of the children at the same time.
Plan out the conversation
Additionally, don’t make it a spur-of-the-moment event. Plan it out carefully so that you have enough time for the whole conversation and so that you know what message you want to convey. Focus on key points that you want to communicate to the children, and then take the time to answer their questions.
Show them that your relationship won’t change
Divorce is often hard for children because it disrupts the stability in their lives, and they may worry that they won’t see their parents as often. It’s important to reiterate to the children both that the divorce is not their fault and that your relationship with them won’t change. Both you and your ex will still see them and take care of them as co-parents, even after the divorce.
It’s also important to put your children first during the divorce proceedings, so be sure you know what legal options you have to do so.