If you’re thinking of filing for divorce, you may know that you eventually need to sit down and talk to your spouse about ending the marriage. You don’t want to just blindside them by handing them the divorce papers. This is a conversation the two of you are going to have at the beginning of the process.
You do want the conversation to go smoothly. After all, if it is contentious, that conflict can carry over into the rest of the divorce process. Here are three tips that can help.
1. Find the right time
Make sure you look for the right time to have such a serious conversation. If you have children, do it when they’re out of the house. Don’t choose a time when you have an upcoming deadline, such as having to go to work. Ideally, you want to be free to talk together for as long as necessary without any outside pressure.
2. Be kind, but firm
Understand that this may be a difficult conversation for your spouse. Be kind about how you say things, but be firm and show them that you really mean it. You don’t need to attack them or turn this into an argument. But you need them to realize that you are serious about ending the relationship.
3. Allow for a two-way conversation
Finally, give your spouse time to respond, to ask questions and to talk with you about your decision. Don’t just tell them the information and then walk out of the room. It’s best if the two of you can work together during the divorce.
After you have this conversation and as you get the divorce process underway, make sure you know what legal steps to take.